PAIGE 85 - SATURDAY

I've decided that they call it Saturday because it had a longer name, but they couldn't remember it, so they just said Sat... (uhrrr?)... day. and it stuck. That's how Saturday seems today, too, waiting for something in particular, nothing in particular, I don't know. Parcel man doesn't work weekends, do I won't expect anything more from him today, although it was a nice surprise, minus the fact of the paradox, to get packages again. Sometimes it seems like all of life is waiting, just that like I said nothing is permanent, we're all kind of biding time until everything is permanent and right like it was at the start. And maybe then that's what waiting is, that's what Saturday is: Saturday is hoping. Hoping and waiting. I have not fond memories of waiting. One of them when my Mom was sick in hospital and I had to wait in some ward with a man next to me who kept falling asleep and I was afraid he was going to squish me. I was only seven, but still when you're seven, all the adults are impossibly tall. You can't ever be that tall, unless you wear stilts. Which brings me to another of my childhood stunts that I won't relate now, but to say that it involved my head and the cafeteria ceiling.

I'm not a convenience store stockist, what am I? What if I don't have work for a while, what am I? A random who lives in Sparrow Falls? A Sparrow Falls-ite? A Sparrowian? A Sparrowite? No, I think they're all just called "Russian." Except for me and Mr. Eriksson, of course. Am I just a jobless girl in a still kind-of-strange town that I don't know properly, and don't know what I'm doing? But they're all just things, aren't they? Didn't I say that things are just things? Doohickeys and whatchamacallits, all of them. No, I'm not a human doing, and I'm permanent, and moving to a place that's permanent, where my God is, who has me here for the meantime. It's just patience, isn't it? Patience and working. I might have here, but THERE's still home.

What else they could have called Saturday includes Satumday, Saterrrrday, Satwhatchamicallitday, and Sathmmday.

- Livi.