PAIGE 72 - WHEN I SURVEY

Coming up to Easter in a couple weeks, some of the hymns remind me so much of that day. In particular whenever I hear that hymn When I Survey the Wondrous Cross I always see those three crosses on a hill in my mind's eye. That was one of the hymns we sung today, and I was so glad we sung it. The organ played, I sung without caring how much I resembled a dying cat playing a trumpet, and so did everyone else, I think. Some days you can sing but can't concentrate for whatever reason, or your soul feels kind of dead for no reason, other times it's like the song comes alive in you as you're singing it. Well today was one of those days, and I thank God for it.

Tonight after church I was getting itchy feet, and that's not just because I forgot to apply insect spray. So I said to Mary, let's go for a drive. She was more than happy with that. We drove around kind of really pointlessly, but the sunset was like a fantasy. Like a sea of fanta. It was orange. But there were red clouds out all streaky, and the sun turned that amazing golden color as we drove. At one point we passed the church, and the cross on top of it suddenly caught my eye, it was all black, as were pretty much all the buildings at this time of night, but it stood out like you wouldn't believe against the redness of the sky. And I thought to myself, I wonder if that was what Calvary was like on that day, a sky as red as his blood. And I thought to myself, what a weird thing to be moved by. Usually people losing blood isn't lovely. But that's the song, isn't it? "Sorrow and love flow mingled down." And the criminals next to him, what did they see? Only one of them could see life. And Des came to mind again, and for a moment I thought to myself, I did a good job, you know, I'm too hard on myself, it's because of me. Then I looked up again and said to myself, forbid it, Lord, that I should boast.

Love so amazing, so divine demands my soul, my life, my all.

- Livi