PAIGE 58 - TO HEAR YOU SING AGAIN

I walked into church this morning and looked around for where to sit. Susan waved to me, so I returned the wave and came over to her. She said Livi take a seat. So I did, and now the membership is one chair short. But it's okay, Mr. Reil likes to stand.

Today we had a new selection of hymns. Well, probably not new since they were written in the 1800's, but new to me since I didn't know them. I sang along, very much enjoying all the words, and it wasn't until after the service that I started getting a bit self-conscious about the whole thing and feeling sorry for the row in front of me. You see, apparently the ear-scientists say you can't hear the sound of your own voice because of sound patterns or something, and it sounds different to you than to everyone else. They say in order to hear what you actually sound like, you have to try this thing where you stand in front of a wall, clap your hands over your ears and speak, or sing. Don't clap your hands too hard, or you may have tinnititus for the rest of the week. So I did the thing. And I discovered I am a very good impersonator, specifically of dying cats. Now to be fair, I don't actually know what a dying cat sounds like, although I got pretty close one day when I decided Tinkerbell would like my soda pop better than her milk (I'm a sharing kind of person). So I tried singing some of the hymns we sung this morning, one of them was Amazing Grace. I got as far as "Amazing," and it wasn't. I kind of crept around the rest of the morning feeling a bit timid after church, and avoiding people who may or may not have been in the row in front of me.

When I left church, I was walking through the front arch to the road toward the parking lot, when I kind of stopped and saw a couple on a bench across the street, in the small grassed area place. It's not a park, I don't know what it is. Maybe a rectoval. One of them had a pretty hooked nose, and the other had a very prominent spot on her face. You know they say beauty is symmetry and all that, well these weren't exactly symmetrical. But as they were sitting on that bench, I suddenly forgot her 'beauty' spot and his pirate nose, and was kind of amazed at the way they talked to each other, all tender and that. It seemed as if they were completely oblivious of what they were looking at, although I'm sure they weren't. So I just stayed there watching at the gate, the peach tree above them was fruiting, the sunshine dappled through the leaves like something that dapples (I'm a poet), and they kept talking to one another as if just being together was the most important thing in the world. I realized at that point they had stopped talking to one another, and were looking at me. I said to myself oh whoops I'm staring again, and left off.

What a wonderful thing it was! I started singing as I went over to the parking lot, then stopped myself, remembering how I sound. But I took another glance over my shoulder to see those two talking again, and said to myself, love isn't hearing a melody, it's to hear you sing again.

- Livi