Tonight was Monopoly night with Clan Routine Poutine. So went home after work pretty quickly, told Mary what was up, and she said oh where in town is that. I said I've got directions, it's South and East, but nothing too far from where we live. She said can I stay on the street. I said no Susan specifically said the street is full, so you'll have to stay in the garage. She said oh but I hate garages. Only the garage at home I don't mind because of the fairy lights. Also why is Christmas still not here.

I said Mary you'll be alright, there'll be other cars there, it's a closed and safe garage. Mary said I know but will it be dark. Also will the other cars talk, I said highly unlikely. She kicked up a bit of a fuss at that point, says she hates the dark and cars are boring company. I said what is it about the dark that you don't like? She says it scares me. So I taught her a rhyme. I song. I don't actually know what it means, I just kind of made it up on a whim to make her calm about the whole idea.

I am Mary of the dark! I roam the woods, the town, and park! Be terrified, you of the shade, for I am here, and not afraid!

You see, they teach these reverse psychology things today, they're all the rage. Actually it worked fantastically, Mary said she was stronger than the dark, and would creep around and scare things that liked the dark. I said that's the spirit Mary. So she sung it all the way to Susan's.

We then arrived, I parked Mary in the garage they left open (I was the last there after work), I closed it, and went up the stairs into the house. I greeted Clan Routine Poutine, asked after the health of Mr. Marcon, and we set up the board game. I chose the car, because after all I don't have a dog, and I prefer shoes to boots. I don't wear top hats, either. I rolled a nineteen, and passed go. David then asked after one of my dice. I bought Boardwalk, Streetrun, and Roadskip. I was leading by a mile (1.609344 kilometres). Susan showed a royal flush. Kingsley upped him, and put all his chips on Mayfair. Actually, I still don't know how to play. I think it involves something about buying properties.

We had some nice classical music going on in the background all the meanwhile, and I asked what the music was. They said it was Beethoven. It continued ambling in the background while I played. I listened to it quite a bit. I think it was interesting music. At that point they said Livi its your turn and I said ok I'll play my aces. So I played them, raised the hand, and called double or nothing.

At that point one of them got up and started shrieking, nobody knew why. Then Susan got up, and then Kingsley got up, and soon everyone of them but me was running about, and I said it wasn't that good of a hand, and it's only a game anyway calm down. They then said there's a robber or something in the basement. I said what. At that point I was feeling a little unnerved, and I armed myself with Mrs. Hickenbotam's un-sewing needle, in case it should be another Livi. Or worse, a referee. We opened the basement door. I said I don't hear anything, there's nothing much here except some food, a sofa, and a TV. Susan said she thought it sounded more like it came from the garage.

So we went down to the garage, and looked around. I said hmm seems like nothing's here. Did you see anything Mary? She said no. Then Kingsley jumped, said there's the voice again. I said where. He said from your car. I said there's no-one in my car, is there Mary? She said she didn't think so. Susan freaked, and I remembered that novel by H. G. Wells, the invisible man, and I said don't worry he only comes in November, and besides its just a novel. Then Mary started freaking out when Susan insisted there must be someone in my car, and she started singing the song I taught her REALLY loud.

I really appreciate all the advice you've given me over the years, Mom and Dad. However the board-game-brings-friendships-closer-together rule just doesn't seem to work out. I'm always very calm I mean, but my friends are a bit neurotic at times.

- Livi