PAIGE 39 - THE REFEREES HAVE ESCAPED

The Triathlon is looming close ahead. I figured I better sort out all this referee stuff, so went down to the local clothes shop and looked in their sports section. The lady said hi can I help you? I said yes, I am a referee for four thousand Russians. She said oh then come this way, and she led me to a corner of the store where they have sports uniforms for official people. She said here's the standard black referee cap. I said thanks I'll take it. What about the rest? What do referees wear anyway? She then showed me black pants and a striped shirt. I said wait I'm not from jail. She said oh no prisoner uniforms are horizontal black and white stripes, referees are vertical. I said oh well wouldn't that make it too easy for prisoners just to re-sew their uniforms and pretend they're sporting? She said she hadn't thought of that, but would keep it in mind. You see, I think of everything.

So I bought the refurbished prisoner slash referee uniform and headed home. I didn't wear it on the way of course, because I didn't want to attract any attention. As I was sitting in the driver's seat, I saw a bunch of people in a restaurant dressed in the same uniform. I said to Mary oh no the referees have escaped. She said where from. I said from prison. She said did they do that bad a job adjudicating. I said it was more of a disguise. I mean why else would you have thirteen referees all eating together? Suspicious as the Robertson's secret honey, in my opinion. I said Mary wait here I want to make sure this isn't another one of those spacetime paradox things. She said oh all right Livi.

So I carefully camoflaged myself among the buildings. It's good I have a canary-yellow car and an orange jacket. I crossed the road from where Mary was parked, wandered over (with great caution) to the side of the restaurant, and looked in. Oh my goodness, thirteen so-called referees. I watched for some while from the corner of the glass before one of them turned their head and said "oh, it's Miss Paige!"

I freaked. These escapees even knew my name. Undoubtedly they had similar, but much more evil Livis in the universe they came from. We, of course, share the same name but nothing further beyond that. Probably they liked honey and marimbas, which is why they sent one to me, to distract my attention from finding them out. But we Paiges are made of sterner stuff. So I legged it. I legged it with all my might. I turned around in a nanosecond (Time Girl is able to do things like this), and leapt towards Mary.

And that was pretty much as far as I got. Because there was a lamp-post in the way.

- Livi