Parcel man came today. I mean I was expecting him to be fair, and he was there at five to five as usual. I said hello Mark. He said hello. I said now what have I bought myself today? He said a fan.

I mean, I'm pretty calm as a rule, but three fans? I asked him did he want three fans? He said no, they were being delivered to me. I said wait three fans are being delivered to me? He said yes. I said I already have three fans, why do I want six? He said sorry ma'am, I am only the parcel man.

I was feeling a bit sorry for him having to deliver all these parcels to my house that I didn't even want, but he kept up a pretty good attitude. Honestly I could do with more of his character in that regard. After a while he brought them all in, and I have to confess I thought it was pretty funny. I said hey Mark, what do you get when you cross a spider and a grocery girl?

Mark the parcel man left off to parcel HQ, and I sort of stood there staring with the door open at my six fans in boxes, plus one marimba, taking up the whole living room. Really there was no living there, it was just a parcel-room. I think I laughed a good ten minutes, and then went downstairs to talk to Mary.

I said hey Mary, guess what? Mark the parcel man came back. She said oh thats good you like him right? I said ah the parcels sure. Mary did you want a fan? Or six? She said no but the fairy lights are amazing and when is Christmas again.

I don't even know what to say about all this, except that my house is now hilarious. I don't even play sports, but I am constantly surrounded by fans.

- Livi