PAIGE 319 - BUMMER, IT'S SUMMER

Bummer, it's Summer. My jokes are getting dumber. Well, summer is truly here according to the weather people who measure solstices and live in observatories. Spring had officially had it's day, which I think is kind of sad because I like flowers. But summer is nice in it's own way, just sometimes it gets too hot for my liking, and then it's hard to do too much. But still here, at least it's nice and green to look at, unlike the city.

On another note, it is now 24.318 days to Christmas, give or take 0.17 days. That means only one thing: CHRISTMAS SHOPPING! Yep, no way I'm going to be shopping past the 20th or so, that's just madness. Although maybe Sparrow Falls is different. But somehow I doubt it. I mean Christmas has been going since October according to the almighty gods of retail who keep ignoring our prayers to restrict celebrations to sensible times of year. What the heck, might as well go make some hot cross buns tonight while I'm at it. End of financial year sale, anyone?

But I was talking to Mary, as I often do, and was saying to her what should I get for Mom and Dad? She said a bazooka. I have no idea where that came from or why she said it, honestly it came out of left field like a hockey puck, and I was too scared to press the question. So I said hmm what about chocolate? Everybody likes chocolate. Apart from people with lactose intolerance, so maybe not for Mom. Hey I know! I could make chocolate with lactose free milk! How hard could that be?

Very hard.

My goodness, have you ever tried reading up about chocolate making? It's complicated stuff. There's conching, and tempering, and well after about half an hour of this stuff I decided to get on the internets and look for dairy free chocolate. Which is a thing. I'm pretty sure it is a thing. Please be a thing. When I went back downstairs I said Mary, I can't find any dairy free chocolate. She said I can buy some. I said really? But I don't want you going driving into a shopping mall, now that's a bad idea. She said no, I'll just order some on my credit card. I said oh yeah, I forgot you have a credit card. By the way Mary, um, how did you-

That was when a duck started quacking. Wow, was Mary ever fast in getting out onto the road and gunning that thing down. With bubble guns. In a blinding spray of bubble jets and several quacks later, the duck was gone, and Mary returned, with me quivering in the corner.

When is duck season over? I'm more a rabbit season kind of girl.

- Livi.