I sure ain't a mall rat, and I don't go shopping for kicks. If I've seen a blue blouse on sale, I've seen them all. But the Paige lass was pinched for time. As a matter, so was the T.G. All the peeps on the nut, what's an eye to do but bail them out? So I shot over to the mall keen as a greaser off to Alcatraz. I opened the door, it smelt... clean. Bird came over to me, asked how he could help. The whole place smelt like a sock drawer. Said, what's the grift? This smell ain't to put us to sleep, is it? Won't work on me. Said no, it was bergamot and lemon. Said to myself, what next, are they going to sell me lace doilies? But I put it to him. So, you've been selling to some customers. Had any peeps with orange jackets and jeans? Blond hair, you know. Bird looked confused. Said nope. I said to myself, that's bunk, the old Paige girl said herself she saw someone. So I hammered it home like a game of Whack-A-Clerk. You ain't seen someone? Not someone buying a ref uniform? Then it clicked for him like a girl on caffeine using a computer. Oh yeah, he said, weren't you here like a couple months back buying a uniform? June, wasn't it?
I knew it. I said, nup, ain't me. And June was way after the Paige. Said, so, any details on this girl you can give me? Bet she looked a lot like me, huh? Orange shirt and all? He said yeah, she even sounded kind of like you.
Hit the buzzer, game over for evil Paige. I'm closing in on you.