PAIGE 290 - DO RE MI

Dough. Dough. Dough. Rain. Me. Me. Dough. Rain me. That's what I heard from the garage, and I said to myself ok now what bizarre thing is Mary learning to do, or think she's learning to do? Far. Far. Far. So? lalalalalalala! Tea. Dough. I thought, hmm this is weird, so I went down and said hi Mary what is up? She said I'm going to become an opera singer Mom.

Terrifying thoughts begin swirling in my mind. No longer do I say, "what could go wrong?" No, I call up D-man and say "hi D-man, are you working on any projects at the moment that might involve opera theatre? Because if you are, can you please abandon them at once. Theatre viewers should not have to endure two hours of La Cucaracha while being inside a pocket dimension filled with ducks popping detergent bubbles." He said no, I'm not working on any sort of project like that. Did you want a hand? I can probably install an auto-tuner or something to help her hit the notes. I said D-man, you haven't got my drift AT ALL. And how do you know about her hitting the notes?

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So I hung up and said ok Livi, trials for endurance, trials for endurance. And I went downstairs and said hey Mary, are you trying to sing certain notes? She said yes Mom. I said well look Mary, I'm really happy for you to be enjoying opera, why don't you just enjoy singing for the sake of singing? You don't have to perform for anyone. She said then how will anyone hear? I said well yes that's the conundrum isn't it? But look Mary, I love you and your voice, you can sing here any day you know. D-man would always be happy to hear you sing for him, and serenade him with your operas about ZX-40 and transfloomippitydo axles. She said no it's XK-40 Mom, and transflooglifier beams. I said right. Well, I'll tell you what, you keep practising and maybe we'll write a jingle or something together, and perform it to the DLS. She said really? I said yeah why not? I mean they're not going to think I'm any crazier than I am.

And so Pandora's Box is opened. Hopefully it doesn't contain ducks.

- Livi.