Pinch and a punch for the first day of the month, and, uh... where does that saying even come from? I'd prefer a packet of crisps instead of the pinch. Punch I don't mind though, especially if it's lemonade and raspberry. Crisps and a punch for the first day of the month, preferably raspberry lemonade. There, saying fixed.

Called M and D today, and lo and behold there is no escape from Christmas. I said M and D I'm not a sheep, so I won't say baa humbug, and besides what kind of an insect is a humbug anyway? I guess a grumpy one, but anyhow - CHRISTMAS IS STILL TWO MONTHS AWAY! (almost). They said we know, we just wanted to check if you were coming up here. I said well I kinda hate the city, but ah well I guess I can't expect the whole family to come down here. But I am a bit worried about taking long drives with Mary, I mean last time she broke down. They asked how Mary was since they last heard. I said well, how do you think? She bowled over an entire family and their dog with a watermelon, created a pocket dimension filled with nothing but bubbles, and has decided to become an operatic singer. They said so she's well? I said yes... extremely.

I also asked them any advice for raising an eccentric daughter, though I suppose they couldn't have had any experience in having offspring as crazy as Mary. Dad for some reason choked on his coffee. I said Dad let the coffee cool down for goodness sake. And also coolness sake. He said he would, and put Mom on. I said Mom do you have any advice for raising crazy energetic trouble-causing female offspring? Mom said well Livi, I have some tales I could tell you...

I came away with the feeling that patience is something gathered through trials. Also that love covers a multitude of things. I said you know what Mom, you're right. And Mary is a good kid. Mom said I've got to go now Livi, you're a good kid too. I said baa. Then we hung up.

Well, it will be very good to see the MD again, and by that I don't mean the conspiracy pact known as Mary and Dylan. Yeah, Christmas will come before we know it, and it's always a good time. Well, I better book the D in towards the end of the month to make sure Mary can do that big trip again. At least this time I won't have to drive at all. I can sleep, to the surprise of all the highway drivers passing by.

- Livi.