I had a call from the twelfth today. When I picked up the phone, I heard her voice say hello. So I said hello back. Then she said Livi, I'm in a pickle. I paused for a moment, then said, wow that must be a record-breaking gherkin.

You see, in order to extricate herself from said gherkin, she needed my help, or specifically the help of Time Girl. She said to me, well here's the situation, Livi. I've said to Dylan's parents that I'll join their family for dinner tomorrow night. I said great! what's the problem with that? She said well I've accidentally booked a theatre ticket at the same time, and I really don't want to let Dylan's parents down. I said well can you cancel the ticket? She said well she bought the ticket to help support a friend, so there really needs to be someone in the audience. I need to be in two places at once. Hey, that's kind of a job for Time Girl, isn't it? Quantum entanglement, and all those things? I said L, it's illegal in all states of Sparrow Falls to tell a superhero what to do. But since Time Girl is nice, she won't turn you into a marimba or anything. L said great, can you make 7pm tomorrow? I said sure can. She said frubulistic, now there's just one thing.

Readers, whenever someone tells you 'there's just one thing,' hang up the phone, disconnect your landline, cancel your contract, and bin the machine. What it usually means is that you have to participate in something you have no idea about. Like a theatre production.

So here's the deal, L said, basically all you have to do is stand up at one point in the production and shout a line to the cast. They'll let you know all about it when you walk in. Ok, I said, well whatever I'll do that for you, you guys have a good dinner. L said thanks Livi, I won't forget this.

Ha ha. Neither will the theatre-goers.

- Livi.