I was just fighting penguins all day long. Angry penguins. Not that I had anything to be angry about, I guess that's the way with being annoyed, is that it's generally something that you shouldn't even be annoyed about. And I was dodging them all day long, had some incidents at the store that just made me annoyed and then I came home and was annoyed because I forgot to clean the windows, and so now the flatpanflipbread batter was caked on, and... anyway, today wasn't a particularly good day. I was coming to my evening devotions, and suddenly I found myself looking back at the day, and realizing how badly I lived it. I said to myself, wow that's really bad, especially considering how recently you've got this job, and how you're meant to be salt and light, and... well, really Livi? And I asked myself, am I really a Christian? I mean wow that's not something a Christian does, is it? But I asked forgiveness. I want to do what's right, so why do I keep doing what is wrong? But I want to do what's right, that's the whole point.
As I was going to bed, I still had these thoughts swirling around in my mind like the way the sink water does when there's bits of carrots in the water, and I forget to put the strainer on. Basically nowhere. And the thought kept coming back, am I born again? But then I remembered what good old Paul said, that he kept on doing what he didn't want to do. The point was that he wanted to fight them. Because he was born again.
So I've got my penguin racket out, and I'm going to keep smacking them over the net. I'm going to keep hammering away even if I miss some. Unless the RSPCA come after me, that is.