PAIGE 264 - ANOTHER DAY

You know those flashback scenes in movies? Well, I was having one of those days today, and all the terrible things I've done and thought came back like some kind of weird black and white disaster film. You see, memories are all back before Technicolor. And I was thinking about this for some time before the obvious thought hit me: I'm forgiven. And I thought on that for a while, but then the next thought hit me: but what have I done with that? I mean, I've got to give an answer for everything here, and have I really done anything useful? Have I just been spending my life packing shelves and microwaving things with foil lining? Have I even done a single thing that's worth anything? I mean what's the point of trying if you don't even know what you're meant to do.

Then it hit me (I've got a lot of bruises, this happens a fair bit). I looked on my blog today and realized that I'm almost on the countdown from 100 to having done a whole year of blogging. Basically, the version of my thoughts with shortening mixed in, and maybe a bit of caster sugar, is that I kept plodding along every day, and suddenly I have 264 entries. Well, 263, plus however much of this I'm writing now. I mean by the time you read it, it will be 264, but right now it's 263.31272353 or something. You get the point (so did I. Speaking of which, my leg still hurts). Maybe that's the point. That we don't really see what we've done except in hindsight? We just go on being faithful and one day see the reward. I still don't know to be honest how much of my life the horses will eat, or the lumberjacks will use. Nothing makes sense sometimes. But maybe at the end of the day it's just another day. Another day I can serve.

And also discover what color Sizzlers cheese-and-chives goes when I ovenate it.

- Livi.