I got out of bed with a spring (that's because my mattress is falling apart) and headed to work. Mary said why are you driving so fast? I said package man is coming I bet.
You see, over the last two (working) days I've had these packages sent from my alter-ego, or maybe just my future self, with the labels to and from with my name on it. Mary asked me do you like the parcel man. I said I like parcel man's parcels. Not that I have anything against parcel men. Post office, please note this is not a libelious blog. So I went through my day with a jump in my step, Des commented on how well I did everything, although if you're having coffee in the morning, you might want to change to one shot. People outside were still being Russian, so I let them. Some of the Russians even came in and bought snacks. I made sure Des knew they were not Czechoslovakian. He was grateful for this information. We have to take care of our customers.
Then I went home, showered, but held off on prepping the food. I made a bet with myself that the parcel man, or rather I should say A parcel man would come just before five, say five-to-five. So I stood there by the door, waiting anxiously for footsteps to grace my door. And they got closer and closer, and at last I heard them stop. Before he could ring the doorbell, I swung open the door and said "Welcome to the present, time-traveller! What have I sent myself today?" He looked at me strangely. I suppose that's because he was the garbage man.
Actually the parcel man didn't come until one-to-five (is that a saying we use?). And then, lo and behold my powers of quantum entanglement had multiplied the parcel man, and now there were two parcel men! Yay for inadvertent superpowers. Also the box was huge. He said, "Marimba for Ms. Paige." "Marimba?" "Yes, marimba." "For Ms. Paige?" "Yes, ma'am." "A marimba." "Yes, a marimba." "For Ms. Paige?" "Er, yes, ma'am." "Oh."
So I said well come in I guess, um are you sure it's a marimba? Who'se it from? He said Miss Paige. So they came in and between them navigated the thing to the loungeroom, placed it down gently, and then went off, back to wherever in the spacetime they came from. I said to myself, "a marimba." And as the delivery guy went out, I heard him say to the other guy, "yes, a marimba."
I'm writing this now with my laptop on top of the ginormous box. It is humongous fungus. As in, I no longer have a living room. Whatever my future self was thinking, she and I need to have a few words. Although I haven't yet figured out how to do that with my powers. But anyhow I'm too tired to unpack.
So, I won the bet with myself. I now owe myself fifty dollars.