So today was the day. D-man's birthday, I mean. Happy birthday, D-man! L and I went to his parents' place pretty early while he was still at work, and said hi there Dylan's parents, we know it's the D's birthday and all today, and we were wondering if you would like to help us in on a little plan. Actually you don't have to do anything, just be like normal when he comes home and don't say anything about us. They said ok, and so we went into their house and first took out all the photos in D's frames and replaced them with spanners. Or wrenches. I don't know the difference. Then we said hey Mary can you back up onto the drive? That sultan's going to be heavy. So she got up as close to the steps as she could manage, opened her trunk door for us, and we lugged the Turk out. We had his feet wrapped in some towels and duck tape so they wouldn't scratch as we heaved him up the stairs, and eventually we got to D-man's room on the second floor, opened his cupboard and taped the walkie talkie to the ottoman's back. Then we closed the cupboard, and hi hoed around the corner with Mary.

When he showed up after work, we were listening from the radio for that door opening sound. It's good he has a creaky door. Well, we first of all heard the door, then some footsteps, then silence. For about a minute, there was no sound. Then there were all these scraping sounds, and footsteps, then shuffling about, then silence. But the cupboard didn't open all this time. Then he exited the room. L and I looked at each other blankly for a while, then L said oh he's taken all the spanners out of the frames, and gone to add them to his toolbox. Next thing the phone rang, and it was D. I said oh hi D, for what do I owe this unexpected call? He said oh thanks for the spanners, actually I was needing some in just that size, great birthday gift! Thank you. I said yep, is that all? He said oh yeah well that wrench also, thanks for that. I said no problem, hope you had a lovely day. And hope you got that transflucifier beam or whatever fixed. He said he did.

Then L went on the phone to him for a while and they talked, but D never said a thing about the ottoman. So we waited a while, and still nothing. Eventually we just decided to go home, and decided he would have to notice it eventually. Or does he keep a spare change of clothes under the bed or something? We'll never know. One of these days we'll hear about the ottoman.

- Livi.