So I don't have Fridays in my new job, but that's ok with me, just means I have an extra long weekend to do things like... microwaving. Waving really small. But I know that it's my new colleagues you want to hear about the most. So here you have it, a MOST WANTED list.

Jon-n-n-n. Manager, Dave&Dave. Organizes timetables and deliveries, always calling people in high places (hey kid, get down from the apple crate!). Black hair, pretty fun personality. Seems to be pretty flat out with his calendar. I guess between organizing deliveries, checking freshness and best before dates, and work health and safety, I can understand how he'd be so busy. But mostly just work health and safety. He gave me the booklet today. I thought it was a novel.

John. Manager, Dave&Dave. Not to be confused with Jon-n-n-n, who is also a manager. John with a H is like the always-on-floor manager who makes sure the customers are happy and the staff are going alright. He's not nearly as tall as Jon-n-n. He's got brown hair and glasses. But his glasses are cool. Mostly because he works in a refrigerated environment.

Louisa. American, therefore I call her Louisiana. Pretty straightforward, no-nonsense personality. Seems to like sandwiches a lot on her lunch breaks. Although ever since I invented the ham slash jelly slice sandwich crossbreed when I was eleven, I've had a soft spot in my heart. Maybe I should see a cardiologist.

Ben. Wears glasses, therefore called Benjamin Franklin. Although they're not bifocals. I plan to buy him a kite when I find out the date of his birthday.

Mark. Greek, therefore called Markopolos. He's pretty friendly, and has helped so far to train me in the dark arts of vegetable stacking. He's got curly hair, and one eyebrow that reminds me of a caterpillar. The other doesn't, for some reason.

Blake. Canadian, therefore called Blake Victoria. I can affirm he also likes coffee and maple syrup. Eh?

Livi. Retired multidimensional referee, also microwave scientist and now fruit stocker.

- Livi.