PAIGE 215 - MARY LEARNS TO PAINT

Well, the day came, as I guess it had to. After work, the MOPED went out to the field and watched the events unfolding. Mainly OPED. I don't think the M could watch herself. Maybe in her mirrors. But anyway. I said to the D, I'm standing as far away as physically possible, so I don't get sprayed. I know you're a good mechanic and all, but Mary on the other hand, well... He said he understood, and I retreated to a safe distance. As I held my breath, or maybe my sanity, it's hard to tell, I got a phone call. It was the S! I said oh hi S! Haven't heard from you in a while. Apart from at church, I mean. She said oh yeah well all going swimmingly, how are you? I said well at this precise moment, I'm well. Actually we're teaching Mary to paint. Or rather we're all preparing for the inevitable collapse of human life as we know it. She said that sounds fun, where are you? I said that field where we taught Mary to drive. Susan said oh yes I know the place! Hold on, I'm not far. I shouted out that Susan was on her way, and that seemed to delay the inevitable for a while, as Mary was keen to show Susan her Picasso, or Pollock, or whatever it was she was going to do. Frankly I thought I would have a blue daughter by the time all of this was over. But Susan rocked up (it was Swedish death metal. I said Susan, I didn't think this was to your tastes) and we all gathered together in anticipation. By gathered, I mean at a distance of around 100 metres to each other. Then it began.

Have you ever seen those movies where the rocket takes off, leaving a cloud of smoke in its wake? Well, imagine the rocket was bright yellow, and the cloud was blue. Also imagine that the rocket did not take off vertically, but horizontally. Don't imagine the spectators. I assure you, they remained calm at all times and watched in awe.

As the rocket came back down to land, Mission Control, also known by the codename D, said I think I need to adjust the canisters. Susan said which is the sky and which is the field? I said Lavender's blue, lavender's blue. When Mary's painting, you shall be too.

- Livi.