PAIGE 202 - ROCKET GOAT

When I was about eight I think, I remember having this terrible weird discovery. You see, I had play toys like I think most kids, except unlike most kids, I had a kid. A goat, I mean. Not a real goat, my Mom wouldn't have trusted me with one of those. Probably even now she wouldn't. But she's not Sauntie, and she doesn't have an instead. So I had this plastic goat, and I also had a NASA set. As you may have imagined, the command center said THIS IS ONE SMALL STEP FOR GOAT, ONE GIANT LEAP FOR GOATKIND. All kidding aside, once I had pretty well milked the novelty out of the thing, suddenly it was like rocket goat became dead to me. As if I couldn't play rocket goat anymore. I know that doesn't make any sense, but if you're reading, I'm guessing you're probably older than eight or nine, and so rocket goat has probably died for you as well. And I remember just sitting there thinking what why can't I enjoy rocket goat anymore? I was enjoying it a while ago. But you know what? now I get to do things like microwaving and driving (or being driven). Somehow the terrible moment was actually a way into bigger and better things. But it sure didn't seem like it at the time though.

The reason I bring this up, and I feel kind of sheepish saying this, is because I couldn't find anything to enjoy today. If that sounds stupid, it is. Since when have I not enjoyed microwaving things, or playing music, or going on drives, or reading my devotions? That's me. But today everything felt completely and utterly like rocket goat. If that makes no sense to you, I'm glad, because it also makes no sense to me. Somehow the entire world just became like rocket goat to me overnight, and with no warning, and with no reason whatsoever that I can think of. Come back, rocket goat, we have more adventures to do. And so I ask myself, why? Is it something I've done? I mean I'm not exactly good, or perfect. Is it something I should be doing but aren't? I don't know. But rocket goat gave me a little bit of hope today. I don't know why, but it just reminded me that sometimes the worst things come to make us grow up, and have better things to enjoy. I don't even know what I'm meant to learn from this right now, but I did read today that his mercies are new every morning, even if I don't feel like that's true. You know something, the sun exists, and it's still good.

- Livi.