The fairies say this is my 200th blog. I don't even know what to say. I would have thought I'd be excited, but suddenly nothing seems to matter anymore. Why does nothing matter anymore? This is stupid. I've been enjoying writing this blog, silly what the what isn't going to stop me. So congrat your lations Livi, happy 200th blogday! You're old.

Okay, look I can't avoid it. I woke up feeling terrible today for no reason. I prayed, read the bible, and felt like I was eating concrete. Ask my six year old self how I know what that's like. It doesn't change the truth of anything because I feel randomly weird these last few days, especially today. I'm not going to stop reading and going to church and loving God, but what? What is even happening? Why does suddenly the sun not make me feel happy, and why all of a sudden do I not want to get out of bed in the morning? This is stupid. I have friends, family, a church, and most of all, I know the great God of my salvation. So what the what, and what the what? I have every reason to be happy and none to be sad. So why am I sad. What even. Even what. Whatting whatting what. This is a silly thing to think on, I'm sorry for bringing this up. Probably I'm sad because I'm thinking I'm sad, I need to remember that song Count Your Blessings. It's at times like this when I forget them. We all do, don't we? The truth is I have so much to be grateful for.

- Livi.