I was talking to Mary and getting a bit on the bored side today when a thought came across my mind. I was looking up at the fairy lights all along the garage, and I said to Mary, hey why don't we have Christmas in July? She said really? That's very exciting, I love Christmas! I said but Christmas in July is a little different. She asked how. I said well you see it's at the opposite end of the year, so it's like an opposite Christmas. It's held on the 25th of July, but everything else is inverted. You have to give presents nobody else wants (although grandparents usually do this with socks and undergarments anyway) and you have to hang the tree from the roof upside-down. Also, you have to have dessert course first and the main meal after. That's about all I can think of. Mary said what do you do with the presents nobody wants? I said hmm. Well, since it's inverted, we give the presents when everybody first arrives, and then after dinner we wrap them up and send them off to random neighbors. She said that sounds fun, I want Christmas in July. I said so do I, do you think the MOPED, and maybe even the S will as well? Mary said I want to call them please let me call them. I said um well sure actually they'll probably take it better from you than from me. So I put the phone on loudspeaker, and dialed the D-man first, after all, that's who Mary requested.
"Hello Dylan! It is Mary here!" said Mary, "how is your transflucifier induco-break composition going?" "Ah yep, it's a pretty rough transition at the moment Mary, I mean I've got the hyperfluxinator weld pretty much cast, but my three-eights hypersocket wrench won't fit onto the axlebar tangent." "Did you try sprock-welding the flucifier with WND-75?" "Are you going to ask him about Christmas at all?" I said. "Mom doesn't have much patience Dylan, so I have to ask you now. Well we are having Christmas! Mom calls it Christmas in July. Did you want to come? Please come." "What's Christmas in July?" "Well, it's like normal Christmas Mom says, except it's all not. We all meet at my house on the 25th of July, and give each other presents we don't want. I know, we could do a secret santa!" "It would have to be a non-secret santa," I said. "Oh. Mom says it has to be a non-secret santa. And also we're having roast fish with cranberry sauce, and an upside down tree. Please come please come Dylan!" I heard a faint laugh on the other side of the phone. "Hey Mary that sounds great. Any time you want to catch up with me here at the shed, let me know you're coming on down too!" I frowned. "That's a bit far for Mary to go, Dylan, on her own." "Oh sorry, just a thought that slipped out. Well, I better get back to work. See you soon!" "See you, Dylan!" "Bye, D-man." Then Mary and I stared at each other. "Why can't I go down to Dylan's?" "Because it's too far on your own, and besides, I might need a drive." "But I'd only go when you didn't need me, and I'd be back in time before sunset." "No, not now. Maybe later." "But please!" "No, we're not going to talk about this. In the future, if you keep behaving well, I'll consider it. At the moment, you're getting plenty of practise." And that was the end of it. I said to Mary well tomorrow let's call Susan and the L. Mary said maybe even grandma and grandpa? I said sure, but they're probably too far, and besides they're busy at work. Mary said oh well maybe actual Christmas? I said yes definitely, either they'll come here or we'll go there, they're family after all. She said I miss grandma and grandma. I said sorry M but you have made friends here though. She said yeah that's true Dylan and Elle are great. I said yep the DL sure is.
Now to begin conspiring what to buy everyone.