My nose was so blocked today. More blocked than my prize for being the millionth visitor. I stood at the cupboard for a while debating whether to try the Mary Remedy (TM) but kept telling myself nah I'll be fine, saline spray and tissues work alright. But they don't. So I eventually decided to see if Mary was right, and decided to brave the chilli pepper. Now I don't actually know what the difference is between habaneros and jalapenos and regular old chillis, but I heard that habaneros are very very hot, and this was hot, so I'm calling it a habanero. I said to myself, well how bad can it be? So I took a bite of it, and munched once, munched twice, munched three times, then said to myself oh wow this isn't so bad. Then I went to sit back down on the sofa. About ten seconds later, suddenly I wondered if I could drink from the fire extinguisher.
What do you do when your mouth is on fire? Oh my goodness it was terrible. I went running around like a headless chicken, and had a glass of water or two which didn't help, then I remembered oh yeah milk. So I went to the fridge, but remembered I was out of fresh milk, and only had long life. No problems, I said, to the cupboard! The cupboard had no long life milk either. Now by this time I was truly and utterly wondering if I was going to make it. Then I realized some of the boxes from parcel man I had not unpacked, I bet those were the milk. So I ripped open the boxes, and oh yes there was milk. I took off the cap and then drank the whole carton. After a minute or two my mouth was burning less. Then I had another carton. Eventually it calmed down to the point where I could at least think straight. Then I realized. My sinuses were clear.
The Mary Remedy (TM) had worked.