Whoa, this one came out of left field. I still don't get that term because it's sports-related, but I think it has something to do with bowling.
Dear readers, or non-readers of my blog, whoever you are who may be reading (so mainly the readers), I lead a pretty normal life, as I'm sure you do. There's nothing about my life I'm sure you think is particularly out of the ordinary, maybe with the exception of L's strangely colored hair. But every once in a blue moon (L would like that) there comes something along your way that completely and utterly surprises you and vanquishes the doldrums. You see, I was going walking today. I'm sure you will agree this is nothing profound or out of the ordinary, I've talked about taking walks before, and this time I decided to have a walk along the south side of town, just for something different, and to look out and see all the trees beyond the town, because south there's nothing but trees. And possibly bees. Most likely bees. The reason for this you will shortly sees.
So I was walking along the outskirts of these roads, and had let Mary free to roam about, since there was a good sized part of field slash grass slash hills between the woods and the rest of the town, so I let her drive along beside me, or around the general area I was walking. When all of a sudden, every single doldrum I ever had died then and there. A bear came wandering out of the wood and towards me! A bear, of all things! I stood there wondering if he thought life was a picnic, or else that I was a picnic, and I thought to myself, if he thinks I'm a picnic, I wonder if my life will flash before my eyes, and I wonder what the highlight reel will be. There will undoubtedly be microwaves. Also I think I'll see a lot of Mom and Dad, and DL, possibly SKP, and definitely M, and the spire at the Falls. You may be wondering what I did in such a situation, and how the OP acted. Well, according to Mary I stood there talking to myself a lot, and then suddenly a great flash of canary yellow appeared before my eyes, and she said, "get in!" and I got in and we raced off.
I looked back in the rear vision mirror and saw him still moving, but now I noticed he wasn't angry or anything, more just curious it seemed. He walked right up to one of the garbage bins on the side of the road, and dug out something and tore into it. Then he wandered back into the woods with some of it in his mouth. I said to Mary, let's go see what that was. Well, it was part of a ham hock, and it was spread out all over the sidewalk and parts of the lawn, even the road.
IT WAS GRISLY.