PAIGE 130 - MARY LEARNS TO DRIVE

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So Mary did in fact calm down. It was like Tinkerbell, the first time I gave her caffeinated soda Dad said he understood where the term 'skin a cat' came from. The second time she was a bit like the first, except she didn't defy gravity quite so much when she ran up the wall and across the ceiling to the opposite wall. I think she only got halfway the second time, from memory. The third time she was just like me when I found out how to program Dad's coffee machine to five shots. Wired, but totally non-destructive. Mary was pretty much the same. Today, after work (I mean DL work, I'm not taking her out driving by myself) we all went out to the same field, and there was only three donuts, then a drag in the soil. After that D was able to teach her the basics of acceleryation/deceleryation. We took turns shouting "acceleryate!" "deceleryate!" until she got the gist of gas or brake, however her navigation system gets the gist of those things. D said it had something to do with the hyperfluxinmogified beam over the steering ginket, I nodded.

I said to Mary, look now that you've calmed down a little, let's try some cornering, at SLOW SPEED. So she went slow for a while, and turned a corner, then put on the acceleryation again, and celery flew right and left, and the D-man looked on in amazement. I said now this is the reason why I was so slow to teach her to drive. She's three going on sixteen, only she's in the body of an automobile. D grimaced and nodded. I said Mary, time to go home now. She said what? I've only just begun. I said well we're trying to teach you some driving basics but you're not listening, so we're going to call it a day. She said ok Livi, I'll listen, I want to learn. I leaned over to Dylan and said "see that's how you parent children. Just thought you should know," and elbowed him.

The D-man took her through some turning basics, and me and the twelfth followed along all the way. He pretended to be a pedestrian at some times, and said Mary if you hit me you'll never drive again, and she seemed to take super special notice of him, and actually listen. I said D-man, you're a very good driving instructor. Or otherwise Mary just has a thing for you. He looked at me weirdly, but I apologized, it was a bit rude. I know what he was thinking, because I think and say it quite often myself.

Mary, you're a car.

- Livi.